Friday, 24 July 2015



Hello? This coming through?

Ah good! Yup we got a green light!

Ok so... How you been?

Fuck me it's been batshit crazy here the past few months.

No doubt you've noticed the total drop off of news about us? About Tokyo?

Yup standard tactics there for the Snake and it's fucking PR department. They flood the media with terribad news and get everyone shitting bricks about it like its the end of the fucking world or something, then move onto the next big bad that will shock people!

As long as we stay on the down-low, stop rocking the boat and essentially play their fucking game, then they stop bothering you. The problem here is I have no interest in playing their game!

I wanna jump up on the table! I wanna shove a lighter into the smoke detector! And I want to stand there covered in sprinkler water with two middle fingers shoved right into the camera of whatever snake-fuck operator is currently watching!


But the boss doesn't like that idea. She says I need to keep my head down and weather it all out.

If it was just me then I wouldn't have a problem, I've taken risks before and i'd march straight up to that pussy-whipped demon's board room, strap a nuke to my forehead and knut him into oblivion!

But it's not just me is it? There's two other operatives in on this, one of them who I would never want to put in harms way unnecessarily.

So I follow orders, I lie lay and wait. And eventually once in done waiting we'll get the orders to make a move and like that we'll kick the teeth in of that twat-face!


Seriously! What. The. Fuck! I had to shave off my beard for fucks sake!

My fucking beard! I've had that for what? Ten fucking years! But the company says it's too much of a distinguishing feature! So off the fuck it goes!

I swear I will find that demon-fuck and will rip out his oesophagus through his fucking ass hole!

I lead the fucking undefeated eight seven nine one to victory in hell itself! We killed an abomination that was quite literally a giant fucking cock with claws! And now I'm supposed to be afraid of a dick in a suit?